val-entine's day

hey, i'm just gonna say right off that i'm real tired tonight, so i'm probably only going to post one thing. so, as my valentine's card to you all, i'm presenting this silky, sexy shot of john malkovich-as-valmont, kissing your hand. (mmm, we can all dream, right?) and it seems appropriate too, when you consider the center of his powdered wig 'do' comes to a heartshape in the middle. he wants to spread his love to all the lovely ladies out there. because what he has for you is pure, true love. hey, its 'beyond his control' to love many girls at one time. so... he asks with a knowing kiss, will you be his valentine? hey, who wouldn't be, am i right ladies?

flash ponytail

hey, i'm going fishing tonight. i'm overdue to pearldive for fresh picksh and junk, so i'm leaving 'the planet' in the very sexy and capable 'hands' of valmont's dreamy ponytail. yes, i took this shot from the dvd... hey, you know a guy is 'sexy-from-all-angles,' when you go out of your way to get a shot 'from the back,' like where you can't even see his face. i amped up the color a little bit... well, not too much... more like i fiddled around with the contrast. even that sassy hand on his hip adds to the sultry coolness. hopefully i'll have something more for you guys tomorrow night, because you know i love you all. sweet dreams.

one more valmont...

...never hurt anybody. i know i've posted a shot of john-as-val like, very recently, but i came across this one whilst digging through some old files, and i thought it was so 'creamy-and-dreamy' i couldn't resist. man, what a profile! yet another reason for me to invent-and-use a time machine. namely, so i could go back in time and like, do things to him whilst he was wearing that outfit. i know i must've 'screen captured' this one, because i know how hard it is to find shots of john-from-liaisons on the web. there's just something about that ribbon... that ponytail. like, you know you're really 'hot stuff ' when you can make a powdered wig look that good. he's such a 'smooth operator.' (man, why did i say that? ) anyway, enjoy the creamy, mysterious goodness for yourself. hey, there's enough of 'the vicomte' to go around, you know?

sweet val

man, i'm exhausted. i'm on like, four hours of sleep. still, i wanted to post something. its no wonder i've had mr. malkovich on the brain this week. so i figured i'd dig up my copy of 'dangerous liaisons' and try to get some shots from it. but i'm here to tell you, i only own like three dvd's that have worse film stock than 'liaisons.' i mean, its so grainy and vague and gauzy and unkind. only 'evil under the sun' and the duran duran tour film 'sing blue silver' are more of a pain in the ass. man, who the hell photographed that thing? or maybe it was the video transfer, who knows. still, i was able to get this silky shot of malkovich as valmont, saying good-bye to the fragile and annoying michelle pfeiffer. hey, its the best i could do. i worked with that film for over an hour and i finally had to like, give up. but he's lovely, yes?

his eyes say yes...

but his lips say no. don't believe him. valmont is a mysterious and dangerous creature. you can't trust him. you cannot resist him. those eyes, those lips... those artificial curls, that bone structure... that insincere tricky wisp in his voice. what planet is this one from? you ask yourself. that ugly one who wears brocade and lace as naturally as dusty, trail-busted denim... that one who speaks with serpentine ease. this one must want something. and you know what? you are going to give it to him. you are going to give this silverthreaded slitherer all he requests. so... you break a few rules... so you betray a few long-held beliefs... what difference does it make? valmont wants to meet you. drop everything, dammit. blow out the candles and leave a day's worth of milk out for the cat. just split and don't forget to lock the door behind you. he's waiting...

a little valmont

yeah, my energy seems to have like, split on me. i was all set to really post a bunch of crap, but i just don't have the steam. so i dug kind of deep in my files and found this cool screen capture of john malkovich as valmont. man, its too bad he can't go around dressed like that, like 24-7. so sexy. i don't even have anything clever or witty to say about it. but i figured i couldn't go wrong. so dig him, and hopefully i'll have more for you tomorrow night. i love you all.

valmont

hey, who doesn't love john malkovich as valmont? girls, are you with me on this one? you know you love his fancy, slinky, manipulative, cold-hearted ways. if i was like, more awake, he'd probably get a much finer verbal tribute from me. hey, i'm not gonna lie, although i do love my darling cake-like valmont, i'm kind of posting stuff tonight until my p.m. 'anti-crazy' pills kick in and i feel like actually going to bed. but hey, valmont would probably consider it a very fitting tribute that just the sight of him makes me want to go to bed. the only thing that was missing from his portrayal of valmont was an explicit masturbation sequence or a man-on-man make-out sequence... and maybe one other kind of scene, but i'm not going to get into that here.