take me away

umm, okay, i think most of us out there remember those old ads for Calgon bath stuff. i remember my old grandmother in morganton, nc used to have a pink-themed box under the sink in her old house. i think i remember wanting to sneak some in MY bath, so that i'd be glamorous 'like in the commercial,' but i think, even back then, i suspected my mother or somebody would smell all the perfumey-ness and ask me about it. so i think i just washed my hands with some on the 'down low.' and even that small amount was like, strong enough to give me a headache. she also had some hand lotion in a decorative glass dispenser shaped like a partially-shucked ear of corn. (?) was it supposed to be like, 'country-homey' or was it somehow supposed to suggest it would make your hands 'silky,' like as in 'corn silk?' probably not... it was more likely just a tacky design concept. oh, and one more thing about washing my hands with the Calgon... maybe it was because of some kind of chemical reaction thing, but when i started to lather with it, the wet powder got really hot in my hand. weird. (oh, and by the way, that chick sitting in that champagne glass full of scented soap is probably gonna get a bitch of a urinary tract infection.)