f is for feinnes

ever since i first saw

'schindler's

list' some almost-sixteen years ago i've been struggling, morally, to come to terms with the fact that i think ralph feinnes was never sexier than he was as the brutal, sadistic nazi amon goethe. i like to think i'm the kind of person to who realizes it was a 'play' after all... i mean, i've been in plays, it doesn't 'turn me into' the character. but even to this day, some people want to give me a hard time when i tell them how sexy i thought ralph feinnes was in the part. don't get me wrong, i still wanted to cheer when he was hung at the end... but i also remember that ralph was a relative unknown at the time, and i remember how i felt the first time i saw him. i was like, '...who the hell is that...??!! ...and where have they been hiding him...??' friends of mine have often said he was, quote, '...cute enough to be in duran duran.' this shot is taken from his entrance. riding in the back of an open car with a white handkerchief daintily up to his nose, he is introduced, being briefed by a senior as to the layout of the ghetto, and his only question is, '...ja, why is the top down? i'm fucking freezing.' consumed with self-interest from the first...to the last. (click to enlarge...i did the tricking, by the way.)

f is for ferry

...bryan ferry, that is. i have to admit a little bit of ignorance. for the longest time i thought roxy music were always, and had always been, the lilting pastel fellows i'd seen in such videos as 'angel eyes.' it wasn't until relatively recently, like since the late 90's, that i realized they actually used to be hard... with a power-fueled, slick electric backbone and a sweatsheened, glittery, grinding, crashing, devil-may-care kind of champagne style. thanks to 'this wild machine,' i've been able to dive deep into their arguably better endeavors. i didn't realize what hot stuff i was missing! i used to think of bryan ferry as something of a drowsy, suit-and-tied metronome of man, swaying back and forth, crooning for the 'legend' soundtrack, asking me if my love was strong enough. how wrong i was. i now boast the fullest, most respectful 'hots' for the roxy music frontman, and all his jangling, mugging, gesturing, very glam ways. he has even ceased to remind me (facially) of some dopey ex-boyfriend. i love the early roxy music stuff. i now think he's pretty sexy. but i still can't help but ask myself if jerry hall's southern-fried voice ever got on his nerves.

bad dates : #1

i'm taking a break from the alphabet for a minute, in order to introduce a new feature. everyone's been on a date that was less that we'd hoped it would be for one reason or another. most of the time, there's a noteworthy anecdote which illustrates some crucial turning point in the date. these oftentimes make for great reading. so, now and then here on 'planetcool' i'm going to feature curious little stories like this next one!

and it comes from a young lady we'll call gwen. GWEN: "...so, i'm in his apartment, right? and it seemed like a decent place, i mean it was clean and all and he had even gone through the trouble of burning some vanilla incense...cool, right? so um...the guy was cute, too. he sort of had a matt damon thing going on. so um, we're eating some vegetable sticks and dip and drinking some pink wine he wouldn't let me see what kind of container he'd taken it out of... i'm thinking it was most likely one of those cheesy boxes, since he had to take the glasses into the kitchen to fill them back up. so, things were going pretty smoothly, and he's on his way back from his way-too-brightly-lit kitchen with the two full glasses, when he does the fakest-looking 'trip' near the edge of the carpet and spills the pink crap all over my shirt. i wasn't too pissed, i mean, it was an old shirt. so he starts apologizing like crazy, like a conspicuous amount of apologizing. i lost count of how many times he said 'ahh, jeez..!' like he was being super-careful not to say 'jesus' around me on account of he didn't know how religious i was-or-not yet. he wastes no time in digging up a dry t-shirt for me to put on, and even leads me to the bedroom, and makes a point out of saying he'd 'even close the door' while i changed. and i was like, 'no shit, you're gonna close the door.' so he closes the door, and i start to get a little scheeved that maybe he's got a hidden camera set up, like he'd planned the whole thing, so i take the shirt and go into his walk-in closet. i turn on the light, and that's when i saw it. on the back of the door is a massive, door-sized poster of damn Legolas in the woods, drawing his bow. at first, i thought nothing of it, i mean, Lord of the Rings was a real popular movie, until i see there's this little piece of paper posted on it, like near Legolas's mouth. and it said, like, as if Legolas was saying it,

"...i have searched the world entire

over stone and through the mire

but 'tis you, who art the Sire

who doth most light my 'shire' fire..."

it was in my date's handwriting. i'm not sure how long i stood there looking at it... like, i wanted to convince myself it was like, some kind of roommate joke... only he didn't have a roommate. two things were obvious: it was put there by him, my date, and it was 'for his eyes only.' so, i didn't want him to think i was taking too long, so i real-fast shimmied into his damn Styx t-shirt and went back to the living room. and i am NOT lying, he was standing next to the entertainment center with the little dvd door open, loading up a copy of ' The Two Towers.' how did the rest of the date go? well, we'd actually gotten half-way through the movie, and like, Legolas was on the screen. he turned to me and asked me if i ever thought about bleaching my hair, and even made a point of specifying, '...you know, real bleached? like, almost white-bleached?' that's when i blurted out something about having to serve pancakes to seniors the next morning as some kind of charity thing, picked up my purse, and booked out the door. i was wearing the Styx shirt when i booked. i still have it. its lining my cat's bed."

e is for eleanor bron

how can i talk about eleanor bron without sounding totally 'lesbo?' oh well, i'll guess i'll risk it. she's so dark, so beautiful. she is the english actress who starred alongside the beatles in their first color feature 'help!' as ahme, the eastern turncoat who undermined her own customs to protect the lives of the fab four (and specifically ringo) from a pagan execution. she also turned in dazzling perfomances in such films as 'bedazzaled,' (the original 'bedazzled,' where she played margaret spencer, the object of dudley moore's affection) and in ken russell's 'women in love,' wherein she shamelessly stole scenes as the melodramatic and theatrical hermoine. in more recent years, she killed it, i mean she shredded it, the scenery, in the 1995 production of 'a little princess,' directed by alfonso cuaron. she played the shrewish and cruel (and beautiful) headmistress miss minchin. and on the 'beatle trivia' angle, it is reported that she was the one paul mccartney had in mind when he wrote 'eleanor rigby.' (i didn't make that up.) ahhh, eleanor... why won't you publish your memoirs? the stories you could tell...

e is for 'epro' : beck - video

i know my friend lucynell has been a fan of beck for longer than anyone else i know. sure, i dug 'loser' when it was out, but i confess it took me about 15 years for me to 'come around' and realize his genius. in other words, i've just recently gotten 'into' him totally. i love the new album, and almost everything else of his i've managed to dig up. and hey, i just saw him on the cover of a magazine while i was out for cigs this afternoon! i've discovered that almost all his stuff is innovative, funky, and sincere. i know 'epro' is an older track, but i love it. its dreamlike. i love the video, too. so here it is lovers... turn it up, its beck!

e is for erin gray

'...a rock 'n roll lady takes a spaceship ride; she's out of this world,' those are the lyrics from adrian belew's semi-hit 'pretty pink rose,' but it just popped into my mind when i chose to post this crucial and hot shot of the cool and sexy miss erin gray in her early 80's sci-fi role as wilma dearing from the short-lived television serious 'buck rogers in the 21st century.' man, nobody wore white spandex quite like wilma, am i right boys and girls? i remember always liking her more than any space slut buck came across during their adventures. she had that intelligent, brunette no-nonsense thing going on. she was all about business during the day, but something tells me it wouldn't have taken much to get her to shake her hair down and 'get loose' at the end of the day. seriously though, i always liked erin gray. even on 'silver spoons.' i wonder what she's up to these days? hey erin, you're still cool in my book! you rock with your small-but-natural boobs! (hey, lets hear it for natural boobs!) and while we're on the subject of natural boobs, i wonder where gil gerard is right now? seriously, i wonder what he's physcially doing at 12:44 on a thursday late-nite?

e is for eli wallach... and eddie izzard

i know i should really give each of these guys their own slots, but i have the strip handy, so... this is a groovy notebook illustration jean-lucien made a long time ago. as old as it is, i still think it scans pretty nicely. lets see now... on the top left is mr. eddie izzard in his role as jerry divine from 'velvet goldmine,' and underneath him is john malkovich as freiderich murnau from the underrated and hilarious 'shadow of the vampire.' and off to the right, on the rockinghorse with the fried chicken in his mouth is the carnal eli wallach in his role as silva vacarro in elia kazan's 'babydoll.' its amazing, these little works of art jean-lucien comes out with. most of them are no bigger than a cigarette lighter or a stick of gum when he scans the originals from his notebook pages. that being said, they blow up pretty good. really groovy stuff. and i can't praise 'babydoll' enough. dig it. (click to enlarge)

e is for enemies

... and also for 'evil under the sun.' i have no doubt most of you will recognize the dynamic duo of diana rigg (on the left) and maggie smith (on the right) as arlena marshall and daphne castle, respectively, in their roles as the sparring theatrical partners from the agatha christie film. this is one of those movies i'd request if i knew i was going to be stranded on a desert island. i love the plot, i love the clothes, i love the cole porter score. in this shot, the bitchy and unscrupulous arlena is trying to show off her slinky chops in a solo number... that's when the 'cat' really gets let out of the bag by daphne, who does her best to upstage the broad via busting in on her spotlight and even deliberately drifting a fabulous scarf in her face. i wish i had a video clip to post of the sequence. arlena's (diana's) growling vocalization of the word '...camemberrrrt...!!' is pure gold. but since i don't, dig the shot jean-lucien snapped from the dvd. i am not exaggerating when i say that i've probably seen the movie a thousand times. and hey, i'm still, still, still not tired of it! (click to enlarge)

e is for esteban - (morrissey) - noone can hold a candle to you : video

morrissey's real full name, as many of you no doubt already know, is steven patrick morrissey. he's often referred to as 'esteban' by his latin and non-latin fans. (if you think you know differently, please hold you 'corrective' emails, i don't want to hear it.) anyway, i feel two ways about posting this. after all, the song is a cover version, but on the other hand, it is, hands down, one of the best and brightest numbers from the magnificent 'who put the m in manchester' dvd. (which i highly recommend.) i challenge the beautiful and discerning lucynell to listen to the song, and i dare her to dig it. like, even without the sexy visuals, the song has a spirited, aching, catchy-as-hell 80's flavor. i love this one. and i think morrissey looks incredible all sweaty and expressive. he's like, a thousand times sexier than he was in the smiths days. dig it.

e is for ewan...undressed

man, where do i start? umm, okay... this is a shot of the dishy-in-the-first-place mr. ewan mcgregor, in the sublime and hung nude-for-the-cameras for some movie i don't recognize. jean-lucien found this great shot a long time ago, and i don't think i've seen it since... like, since he was picked to play obi-wan. (more like obi- wand, am i right girls?) and just think, this is how it looks when its soft...! man, i hope this doesn't offend anyone... like, nobody would have a problem with it if i posted a shot of michelangelo's 'david.' (mmm, like david could ever hope to 'measure up.') i think its cool that media in general is actually finally coming to grips with the idea that size matters. because it does. i mean, that's not the only thing that matters, but i've asked a lot of girls over my lifetime, and i think a cool 100% of them have told me that yes, it matters. so um, enjoy the view, ladies! and for those of you who don't already know, if you want to see ewan's live male 'junk' in action, he bares it all as a rock star on stage in the underrated todd haynes film 'velvet goldmine.'

d is for dan, steely dan - dr. wu : video

you get the bang of two 'd's' on this one; dan and dr. wu. there's a very talented gentleman on youtube who constructs the finest video interpretations of otherwise faceless steely dan album tracks. i hope he doesn't mind i'm posting one of his videos. he goes by the name 'melegorm,' and he's really got a talent and knack for visualizing his impressions of their excellent sound. if you have the time, look him up and enjoy all his work. i chose this one for the obvious alphabetical reasons, and also because the song is one of my favorites from the 'katy lied' album. so cool, so groovy... so, dig it!

d is for duran duran

specifically, vintage duran duran. this is how the boys looked when i first fell in love with them. its from the 'rio' era, and i have to say the 'look' of the era suits all of them. (hell, even andy and roger look cute.) but if this picture was a five-way horse race, i'd have to say mmmm, john taylor wins... by a very slim margin. with nick and simon tying for a very close second. i just always loved the cool fedora look on john. in fact, for those of my generation, the fedora is almost as commonly known as a 'john taylor hat.' i just couldn't go through the d's without mentioning the 'ragged' boys. go ahead and swoon girls... that's what they're there for.

(click to enlarge)

d is for dale...grover dale

i consider grover dale one of the greatest dancers i've ever had the pleasure to watch. and he's also a very sweet man. after praising him on my youtube page, he actually had the courtesy to write and thank me. he has a firecracker style... his coreography is packed with energy and sexuality. i first noticed him in the 1967 film 'half a sixpence,' (he stole every scene he was in handily) but he can also be seen in 'the unsinkable molly brown' and the 1968 french film 'les demoiselles de rochefort' alongside george chakiris, catherine deneuve, and francoise dorleac. (his numbers in that one are so hot.) he can dance, he can sing, and he looks incredible and sexy while he's doing it. i hear he's still dancing, and works tirelessly to promote opportunities for up and coming dancers. he was even married to curvaceous bombshell anita morris. (the hot chick in the 'she was hot' video by the rolling stones.) i doubt darling mr. dale will see this post, but if he does, i love you, babe. you are the best there is. (i think i took the screen capture from 'half a sixpence,' and jean-lucien added the color bursts and scanned it in. so love to jean-luc.) dig it.

d is for 'don't look now'

'don't look now' is a wild and dark and mysterious and inventive film by visionary genius director nicholas roeg. it was based on the writings of daphne de maurier... (and i haven't read the story so i can't tell you whether its faithful to the original work or not.) what i do know is that it is a pure, lovely, spooky, genius movie from start to finish. and whoa, what a start this movie has! anyone who's ever seen it knows the sequence i'm talking about. it is almost an unfortunate truth that the rest of the movie has a hard time living up to the first 15 minutes. its a movie that requires patience and attention. but the payoff in beauty and intelligence is worth the effort. anyone who considers themselves a serious 'student of film' should see it. its not easy to watch, i mean, there aren't many 'light' moments. even the flim's infamous sex scene comes across as detached and base and the two parties, (donald sutherland and julie christie) seem to be outside of themselves. i could go on and on. as for this shot... well, it is both vital and insignificant to the whole of the production, but the shattering beauty of the 'colorside' shot is, in my 'film lovers' mind, iconic. dig it. (click to really enlarge)

d is for dustin and mia

man, i'm tired. i had the tremendous good fortune to re-connect with an old friend tonight. we talked for like, and hour, and hey, she digs my 'planetcool!' so with our conversation fresh in my mind, i really wanted to post something real special, but i'm pretty tired. i know i've got to get started somehow. so, in keeping with my alphabet, i dug out this lovely TIME magazine cover starring a young dustin hoffman and a young and beautiful mia farrow. i've had 'rosemary's baby' in heavy rotation lately, as well as the 'know-it-by-heart' classic 'tootsie.' this cover makes it seem like they were an item. hey, maybe they were. i can only imagine what an insecure dating pair those two would've made. i love the cover, too... especially after i got my 'tricking skill' hands on it. so dig it, while i try to go dig up something else. (i tried to find some more cig ads, lucynell, but they're rare pearls... very hard to come by.)

c is for comics

man, i feel kind of blue and tired tonight... but i don't want to leave monday unmarked. so, keeping with my latest crazy alphabet concept, here's a little comic slide jean-lucien sent me some time ago. its an unlikely duet between the charming man morrissey from his smiths days, and the half-in-drag micky dolenz from the very funny first season 'chaperone' episode. if you know the show, then you get the joke. it's hard for me to feel too blue when i dig on it.

c is for culture club : the church of the poison mind - video

this is in my top five culture club songs. on some days, its actually my favorite. its so full of levity and spirit. even after 25 years, the clean, keen, honey-pure arrangement makes the ears sit up and bloom in approval. its tempting for some to kick george when he's down, but when one hears the strident, soulful vocals he laid down on this track, its equally tempting to believe... believe in the power of the almost-perfect pop song.

c is for cigarette ad

mmm, we've come a long way, babies! i am jussst old enough to remember cigarettes being freely advertised in television commericals. since then i've studied advertising, and the psychology at work behind it. (most of it is common sense.) it doesn't take a nobel prize winner to see that they're using sex (or more specifically 'boobs' to sell the naughty-sounding-in-the-first-place Tiparillos.) i think they're leaning on the 'penthouse forum letter' angle on this one. i mean, how many cellists do you know practice and play in an open lacy dress blouse with perfect hair and make-up whilst smoking...? i love it. i really can't tear it apart too harshly, because i just 'burned a Camel' less than an hour ago. i love the ad, though. in another life, i think i must've been a high-powered Ad Man for some slick firm. (click to enlarge)

c is for curry...

...tim curry. i know, i've celebrated him before, but since i'm on 'the C's,' it only seemed natural that i should tip my hat once again. i think tim curry is 100% 'legit' as a performer. his voice is among the grooviest i've been lucky enough to know in my wild life. whether he's singing the brash and bawdy numbers from 'the rocky horror picture show' or giving it his all on his several solo records, tim curry never holds back. i think pop culture history should look back upon him very kindly. i say it all the time, but its true with tim curry; no matter what kind of production he's in, he is invariably the best thing in it. and since its after midnight on a saturday night, i decided to post a self-taken screen capture of tim in 'the rocky horror picture show,' doing 'sweet transvestite' alongside the slinky genius that IS richard o'brien. dig it.

c is for carol cleveland...

i wish i had a better, bigger shot of carol cleveland, but since i don't, this still-frame will have to do.

i love the shot anyway. it was a frame jean-lucien froze from some episode of 'monty python's flying circus.' it probably goes without saying, but miss carol cleveland is the voluptuous chick dancing on the table. it sounds so corny to say that she was the 'unofficial seventh python,' but it might be thought of as such. what a treasure. so sexy, so funny, so 'game.' i've often said she should write a book about her days with 'flying circus.' i can't even begin to list the skits she sparkled in. from 'mrs. arthur pewtey' to the woman who seduces milkmen to their deaths, miss carol cleveland is a real trooper. sexy, bright, and always very funny. (click to enlarge)