the face

the film was 'isadora duncan, the biggest dancer in the world.' the director was ken russell. i was about eight years old when this film was fatefully shown on PBS, late one weekend night. at the time i had no idea who ken russell was. my mothers was going from channel to channel. i just watched as things like 'M*A*S*H', the evening news, maybe 'Kojak,' whatever was showing around ten o' clock in 1980. suddenly, the dial stopped at PBS... and i watched the black and white images of a woman, in flapperish dress, flit into a vintage car as 'bye bye blackbird' warbled in the background. it was blithe and breezy... and then everything changed. the woman's long scarf was snagged by the speeding wheels, her head jerked back violently... she was killed... her neck broken. and ken russell made sure we didn't miss a thing. he pulled in for a pair of grizzly close-ups. this is one of them. i had never seen anything like it in my life. i was terrified. terrified. i froze... i felt i physically could not even close my eyes. my body started vibrating... and at the same time, went numb. i was not a large enough creature yet to contain the immense horror i felt. i will never forget it. my mother was there, almost trying to snap me out of it... as if she sensed her baby was affected in a way she never had been before. that was true. for the longest time i had no idea who was responsible for utterly destroying my peace of mind. that was the night i fell in love with Ken Russell. ( the actress is vivian pickles )