lui oh my!

this sunny chick is great. she has the nerve to look surprised... like, ' o my god where's my top...?' hey, you know where your top went, sweetie. dig those funky earrings. she's pretty, though. it seems this is the 'special saint-tropez.' hey, remember that croonin' commercial? "bain de soliel for the st. tropezzz tannn..." her bottoms are a little baggy on her. what is she, like, a size 'less-than-zero?' ( mmm, sour grapes with me and my size 12 drawz. )

lui sweet jane

jane birkin, ladies and gentlemen. you may think you don't know her, but you probably do. she played the frail maid in the agatha christie film version of 'death on the nile,' and christine redfern, the frail wife in the film version of 'evil under the sun.' ( one of my favorite movies, ever. ) and here she is, daring to be baring it with a tit-load of beaded necklaces. she was also the waifish protogee of french svengali serge gainsbourg in the 70's. she even cut a few pop records. ( check youtube. ) from the phrase 'special noel,' i'm assuming this is the boffo christmas issue. i dig those hip-snugging black panties.... or, les panteez noir. yeah, i'm a big fan of janie birkin. she can come to my holiday party anytime.

lui on hot wheels

this is one of my favorite 'lui' covers i've ever seen. i love the head-on nature of the shot, and the fact that it's centered gives it an almost-Rorschach-esque quality. or maybe like a pinned exotic insect specimen. but it's none of those things! it's a sexy french kitten on a motorcycle! and she wants you to 'head out on the highway' with her. seriously, i wish i had this one in like, poster-size. fortunately, this one has writing i can easily read. evidently, in this issue we can look forward to 'jane fonda,' hey, i'll bet she takes her clothes off, ( she does, i've seen the spread, it's pretty awesome... i'll try to find that one for you... ) and ummm, whoa, hold up! le 'ku klux klan..???' i sure as hell hope that's a scathing sociological study-and-or-exposee. annnd, someone named j.p. melville, and last but never, never least, my darling mark twain. the chick could be better looking in the face, but... hey, like i should talk... i'm not naked on any magazine covers straddling any bikes.

lui bardot

ummm, i probably won't have too much to say about this one. particularly since there's not much print on the cover, and i'm not the biggest Bardot fan in the world. but, to be fair, i've seen almost none of her work. morrissey is personal friends with her, though... on account of her 'animals are people; meat is murder; i don't eat my friends' thing they have in common. and hey, have you seen morrissey lately without a shirt on? well, don't get me wrong, i prefer him heavier... but all i'm saying is some of that vegetarian stuff he eats must not be all that light on the calories. i still think he has all his own hair, though. and i don't think he's had any 'work done' facially... unlike some pop stars i know. ( i'm calling you out, simon 'le face lift' le bon. ) okay, wait... weren't we talking about miss Bardot? i guess we kinda were. it's funny, looking at a picture of her like this one, it becomes almost laughingly obvious how those early 90's Guess? jeans ads were with claudia schiffer; cash-in/rip-off/ homage-wise.

lui les stripes

okay, bear with me, the computer just ate this whole text entry, so i'm gonna have to try to do it all over again from memory. so, what did i say about this one again? oh yeah, when i first glanced at this one, i thought she had on an actual shirt, then i saw the nips and... ( shrug. ) and speaking of 'painted on,' how tight are those teeny skin-tight orange shorts? and um, what's with the rope? is that part of some vaguely nautical theme i'm supposed to 'get?' like, has she been pressganged into some kind of 'sex-navy?' and what could be the explanation for that injured and embarrassed look on her face? maybe her drill sergeant turned out to be the father of some kids she used to babysit for. the dad who used to make inappropriate comments and put his hand on her leg on the drive home and ask her if she was wearing an underwire bra yet ... it's like she's thinking, CHICK: "...um, i know it was a few years ago, Mr. Cliverson, but you still give me the predatory-creeps. yes, i know... this is the Sex Navy... i'd better get used to it." (-sniff- )

lui magazine

i've never actually had my hands on a copy of 'lui' magazine, but it seems like it's right up my street. mmm, i like this cover for so many reasons. those sheer white panties make me go, 'oui, oui, oui' for 'lui.' from what i've been able to determine from my very brief ( no pun intended ) research, 'lui' was like a kind of french Playboy. hey, i don't care what language it was in, 'sexiness' is an international language. i've got over two dozen of these covers, and i plan to feature most of them on the 'planet.' so if that kind of thing bothers you, fair warning. and to those of you that dig this stuff, get ready for more.