lui les stripes

okay, bear with me, the computer just ate this whole text entry, so i'm gonna have to try to do it all over again from memory. so, what did i say about this one again? oh yeah, when i first glanced at this one, i thought she had on an actual shirt, then i saw the nips and... ( shrug. ) and speaking of 'painted on,' how tight are those teeny skin-tight orange shorts? and um, what's with the rope? is that part of some vaguely nautical theme i'm supposed to 'get?' like, has she been pressganged into some kind of 'sex-navy?' and what could be the explanation for that injured and embarrassed look on her face? maybe her drill sergeant turned out to be the father of some kids she used to babysit for. the dad who used to make inappropriate comments and put his hand on her leg on the drive home and ask her if she was wearing an underwire bra yet ... it's like she's thinking, CHICK: "...um, i know it was a few years ago, Mr. Cliverson, but you still give me the predatory-creeps. yes, i know... this is the Sex Navy... i'd better get used to it." (-sniff- )

seriously, i'm straight...

yes, as you can see from this post, and the luscious post below, i'm a straight girl who loves-loves-loves chicks in bathing suits from the 1970's. i love the way they tie in the back, with those neat little knots and loops. personally, i haven't worn a bikini since i was like, 15, maybe... but i remember fastening them, undoing them. (on myself, of course... ha-ha.) is it just me, or do they not 'make chicks like that anymore?' it doesn't seem like they do. i was in a store the other day, and at least half of the 'mix-and-match' bathing suit racks were like, weird. all the bottoms were 'shorts-shaped.' like, they weren't 'panty-shaped.' i don't know if that's just like, the 'style' or not. you know, i'm not like, 'lesbo' or anything like that... but i can't remember the last time my head turned at the sight of a MAN in a bathing suit. like, '...hey, there's a dude in long trunks.' who cares? give me the chicks, man. those tropical-popsicle, cherry-scented tan-line, cantaloupe-lip-gloss chicks at the side of the aquamarine city pool. laid back, lazy, glistening, glamorous... listening to the casey kasem countdown... sipping icy tumblers of cheerwine. mmm, sexy.

christmas in july

hey, the weather outside is frightful, but woah....! the sights on planetcool are delightful. here's a shot i found of a north carolina beach from the mid-70's. now, this is what girls should look like. no silicone, no 'booth' tans, no brazilian waxes, no thong suits, nothing but sweet healthy american girls with their natural selves, enjoying nature, with their long silky hair and hip-hugging slightly sagging suits. their smiles candid and real... as rob fetters once said, 'robust cornfed american beauties lick the salty rims of margaritas...' yeah, i know, i'm 90% straight, but still, i could look at this picture for hours. it totally blows my mind to know there are people out there who would honestly believe these chicks are so fat they like, shouldn't be allowed to leave the house. like, what kind of world do we live in? (click to enlarge)

jack, serious

i can't ever remember not liking jack lemmon. i also can't remember a time in my life when i wasn't aware of him. somewhere along the years, i fell in love with him. he's got it all. style, talent, humor, and unexpected sexiness. in movies like 'the apartment' and 'the china syndrome' he was so foxy i couldn't stop myself from what it must've been like to know him romantically. (wow, that sounds really flaky, but whatever.) and in 'some like it hot,' he's a perfect example of a comic-relief part that gets laughs without losing his dignity or class. that couldn't have been easy to do. i heard a lot of his leading ladies were crazy about him. i think he was infinitely sexier than cary grant. don't get me wrong, cary grant is excellent, but i can't remember him ever 'turning me on.' i think i can honestly say i've never once wondered about taking cary grant's shirt off. or thought about kissing him. but i have thought similar things about jack lemmon. he's just a treasure. and in this shot? woof! i think need to juice up that time machine again. sigh.

artful dodge

man, what can i say? this ad seems to exemplify that old saying about: '...gas, grass, or ass... noone rides for free.' i mean, it looks like we've got the 'grass' and the 'ass' covered. but in these economic times, it looks like its 'every man for himself ' where the 'gas' is concerned. as i've said numerous times; i think i picked the right time not to own a car. and hey, dig that sweet van in the back! did they really sell them 'on the lot' all tripped out like that, paint-job-wise? the girl is cute though. i love the denim. all that deelish friction... but hey, i don't wanna sound too lesbo. (mm, at least, not more 'lesbo-than-usual.') and the ad slogan... i mean, anything about putting something 'in your garage' seems to have 'sexual innuendo' written all over it. then again, i do have a dirty mind... that's been well-documented. for historical reasons though, i love the ad. you'd never see anything like it these days.

p is for playboy

yeah, i've posted several playboy covers so far on 'planetcool,' and most of my mates surely know of my devotion to vintage playboys. the girls were so much curvier, so much more playful, and almost assuredly 99.9% silicon free. i mean, look at those sturdy, curvaceous legs! look at those amazing vintage platform shoes! man, i don't know what's sexier; the broad, or the shoes! i love the fact that she's smiling though, instead of throwing down that steely-eyed, bitchy, i-can-and-will-kick-your-ass! look. yeah, this girl looks like she'd go for a pillow fight, some tickling, and some laughs before she 'got serious.' its amazing to look at this picture and know that most modern amercian girls would actually call her fat. i chose this one because well, first of all, i hadn't posted it yet, and also because its the issue for september, 1972... the year jean-lucien and i were born. i don't know if i ever had this issue. if i did, it must've had the cover torn off, because i really don't think i owned this cover. yeah, i got most of my vintage playboys and penthouses at the very well-stocked, dirty, unprofessional, and now-defunct Atlas bookstore in greensboro, nc. man, we combed the hell out of that place, didn't we lovers? (click to enlarge)

m is for margret ...ann-margret

hey, you know... i'm not gay or anything but... wow. dangerous curves, man! i don't remember where i found this shot, but wow. they just don't make 'garter' outfits like that anymore. and they don't make bodies like that anymore either. i mean, imagine damn stringy gweneth standing next to miss ann. yeah, nice try gweneth, better luck next time. like, if i looked like that in a corslet and garter belt, i'd never wear anything else. like, i'd wear it down to the stop n' shop. the hair looks great on her, too. and man, i've seen her recently, and she still looks great. what a firecracker. didn't she have like, some kind of 'fall' or accident during one of her vegas shows and like, broke her collarbone or something? i don't have 'the facts' on that. man, whatever happened to the hourglass figure? i say we 'bring it back,' you know? okay, this is a pretty lame post, but ann sure looks great, am i right folks? oh, and i have to tell lucynell specifically, she should input ann's name into the above left search field, and check out something i posted a long time ago. its a 3 minute advertisement she made for 'canada dry' beverages. its the 'now' costume-change-dance-number most! (click to enlarge, i think.)

athena tomasina

otherwise known as the lovely playboy playmate miss jeana tomasina. she was also a zz top girl, and appeared in the mel brook's movie 'history of the world, pt. I.' but i'm just using her as cheesecake. in this shot she strikes a profile that somehow makes me think of the greek goddess athena. again, i hope i don't get too hastily flagged for the very mild yet very sexy breast exposure. i love her brunette hot looks and pouty lips. so enjoy her.

stacked

anyone who knows me knows i love vintage playboy. i don't think i've ever owned this one... if i did, it didn't have a cover when i had it. but i love it. the shoes alone are every bit as sexy as the silky female flesh. i think the ever-present bunny icon is hidden in the buckle. like, i don't know where else they could've hidden it. but man, what a blazing pair of shoes. they even don't look all that uncomfortable to me. they look strappy and sturdy and well-made. if i had a pair of shoes like that, i'd just lie back, stick my lovely legs in the air, and just dig on them. so hot.

sweater girl

yeah, i have to admit, i've been sort of fixated on boobs lately... yesterday i went bra shopping,

and wow, like... i went up a size or two. i think i may be the first double D in the family since like, possibly ever. so, i found this sexy shot of miss lana wood in a tight turtleneck sweater, just to remind myself that you don't have to look like damn gwenyth paltrow to be desireable. now, i'm not saying i look exactly like miss wood here, but in all humility, i must admit, i'm comparable. and since i'm committed not to show my face here, please dig on miss lana wood, and appreciate the fact that its not that far off.

va-voom!

curves, yes... just look at all that ivory flesh. this is, of course, a never-before-seen-by-me shot of the often-great marilyn monroe. girls, doesn't that look inviting? guys, don't you just want to dive in and sink? what a figure, what a dress... oh well, i don't really have any more elevated comment for this shot except... yowza!

ahhh, chicks

i miss the golden days of playboy. if you want to recognize how much the times have changed-in-the-way-of-sexiness, just take a look at those panties. modest, tasteful, but incredibly sexy. i remember this cover from when i was a little girl. i love all the long hair and real panties!! I should start a movement to 'bring real panties' back into style. you'll never be able to convince me a thong is sexier. have you ever tried to feel off a girl through a lacy, limp, scratchy, fancy thong? well, maybe its just me, but i'd rather feel the slickened-down-the-middle pillow soft moistness of Dacron. who's with me?

in love with science officer ash

yes, i am. i have been in love with The Nostromo's Science Officer for a long time. Ian Holm never looked hotter and has never turned in a finer performance. i ask you, ladies and open-minded men, isn't he the hottest? he drinks his milk like a good boy. mmmm, cold and delicious!