spand-mag!

mmm, yes... glorious full-color teen mags from the 80's! first of all, i think its pretty funny that the title of this publication is '2001.' yeah, that date doesn't seen so wild and futuristic now, does it? (mmm, hey, hey eight years old.) i can't read the date on this, but since it mentions duran duran's 'singolo per 007,' then i'm assuming it was sometime in late 1985... coninciding with that garbage bond flick 'a view to a kill' that D2 did the title song for. (and yeah, i've seen that movie recently. christopher 'bleached hair' walken and grace jones? yeah, okay. actually, grace's acting chops impressed me more than roger moore's. seriously.) okay, so what else does this mag have to offer? hey, it boasts a 'tony hadley exclusive.' i guess you read that when you've got a serious case of 80's insomnia. (hey, who am i kidding? i'd love to read a tony hadley interview from late '85. there's no way it couldn't be hilarious. like, what if he's all ego-boasting that spandau ballet were the 'true future' of pop music in the modern world? like, that would be comedy 'gold.' ) okay, what else? it confusingly promises to feature the weirdly-alike-but-not-alike 'two nicks;' namely nik kershaw and nick heyward. like, which one was which again? oh wait, i just remembered... i don't care! so dig it. and if you have some spare time, see if you can dig up spandau's 'lifeline' or 'instinction' videos. both great. ( and 'musclebound,' and 'paint me down,' and the hilarious outfits in 'to cut a long story short.' glam kilts? i don't get it.) click to enlarge.

where are they now?

yes, finger-watches, ladies and gentlemen! i've had this ad for a long time, and i figured it was well worth a post. now, i don't have a date on this ad, so i have no idea if if was 'before' or 'after' the Swatch craze. (jean-luc and i had about four Swatches, just for the record... but my mate Atarieyes mustv'e had like, over a dozen, i remember because he once demonstrated like, four on each arm.) but these little dinky finger watches, i don't remember anyone wearing them at all. and what were they called? 'Digits?' i don't remember any widespread ad campaign for them. i have no visual memory of anyone wearing them. i'm taking a close look at the ad now, and i have to admit, one or two of them look pretty cool... but why not like, use the same desgin and make a 'regular-sized' watch for-the-wrist? i think its hilarious that one of them is like, zebra-striped. how 80's. i kind of dig the fuschia nail polish she's got on... but they don't really seem like, 'practical.' i mean, can you imagine giving a decent backseat 'HJ' with two or three finger-watches on? (and yes, 'HJ" means exactly what you think it means.) the bottom line is, we all know they didn't 'catch on,' because people sure as hell aren't wearing them now. dig it, the 'Digits.' (click to enlarge)

hit me

yeah, its late, and i'm getting tired. and i'm supposed to do my crazy laundry in the morning. hey, life goes on, right? okay, so here's hoping you'll find something to dig about this old cover for star hits magazine. i don't think i can read the date on it, but judging from the pop-heads featured, i'd guess it was early-to-mid 1986. but even that doesn't explain why howard jones is on the cover. i wish the picture quality was a little bit silkier, but hey, i work with what i've got. let me zoom in... okay, it says something about a howard jones contest? you get to interview him for 'star hits?' man, i pass. like, i only have 'less than three' questions for him. then at the top it says something about the monkees, (which indicates to me that it was 86'-at-the-least, considering that was the summer MTV re-ran the classic series.) and i also see them mentioning one of duran duran's best albums, 'notorious.' (including great songs like 'skin trade,' 'meet el presidente,' and 'a matter of feeling.' and i think 'serious?') honestly, its a great record that still 'holds up.' then, if you look close, over howard's right shoulder, you can see something about madonna meeting billy idol. (which is wild, because i don't even think 'madge' would willingly breathe the same air as billy idol these days. ) but man, at the time, you know there was nothing like 'star hits.' am i right, lovers?

j.t. in a vest

yes, you know what this country needs now-more-than-ever? yes, more high quality shots of john taylor back in 'the day.' yeah, it seems you can find a lot of old duran shots, but rarely is the quality any good. i'm not sure if they were all just scanned in on substandard equipment, or if the original 'source' mags are too old and worn. but i do know all of you out there love a hot shot of JT. i know i do. and here he is at his bleached-bang ill-fitting-clothing best! man, he looks so young here, doesn't he? and what about those cheap 'pleather' mall pants? man, he looks like he just lifted most of the inventory from 'merchants' and 'contempo casuals.' ( a 'four seasons mall' joke, ladies and gentlemen! NC in tha hay-ouuuse!) (...i don't talk like that. where the hell did that come from?) i'm not gonna lie. there was a time when i would've loved to dress exactly like this. and one summer i did try to do that exact thing to my hair.

diane von unclear

hey, there's nothing like the 80's for misguided hair and makeup attempts. i snagged this ad tonight whilst rebuilding my files. and woah, do you think she's got enough makeup on? or is the ad for perfume? or both? anyway, the chick needs to take it down a notch. man, the sad thing is, there was probably a time in the 80's when i would've daydreamed, extensively, about walking into my school having transformed into exactly what you see here. and in the dream, everyone, even the bitchy girls would be so struck by my 'with it' beauty that they'd drop all the hazing and hatred and stand back, wishing they could be like me. then i'd telekenetically make them slip in the mud or something in front of some guys they were desperately trying to look cool in front of. and keep in mind when you look at this shot, that i've retouched this photo, and have really dialed down the garishness and 'hot pink' scorch. and it doesn't even look like they've got in on straight. (the lipstick) i mean, its not even within the lines of her lips. and those eyebrows! hey, i remember the 80s, and i understand styles change, but i can't like, humanly fathom trying to 'bushy up' and 'wolf-out' my brows to be like, more heavy and out of control than they appear on their own. and she looks cross-eyed and drugged, like two people in two different corners of the studio called out, 'hey, baby, baby...over here!' at the exact same time.

pin-up

here is a dreamy shot of duran duran, circa 1982-83. who wins this horserace? i'm tempted to give it to john. yeah, considering i remember other shots from this session, i think i have to give to john. (and for those of you that don't know, john is the one in the hat.)