blue, but i love you

i'm a little blue and worn out tonight. but i love you all and hope to be back in form tomorrow.

kisses and hugs.

rupert james hector everett

oh, rupert. if you only liked girls. (mmm, like that would improve my chances... like that would improve my 'shot' at him.) i can count the times i fell in love at first sight on one hand. and rupert everett was one of them. it was late '84 or early '85. i remember i was flipping channels one saturday afternoon, and by chance, i landed on cinemax in time to see him in close-up, near the beginning of the 1984 film 'another country.' you have to understand, i was heavily, heavily into english pretty boys at the time. i remember i felt something touch my heart, literally. and i couldn't wait to know his name, and figure out where england had been hiding him. i thought he was 'cute enough to be in duran duran.' then, as he moved and spoke, i discovered his gently whimpering elegant voice... his lean and becomingly clumsy manner. i was so in love. i remember even hunting all the stores in town for completely-round, wire-framed, dark sunglasses like the ones he wore in the 'cricket game' sequence of the film. it wasn't just that i wanted to have him; ...it was more like i wanted to be him. i wanted to live in his body and like, become him. (man, how's that for teenage-maladjusted-indentity-crisis-hormones completely out of control?) yeah, it all seems funny now. i think it was as simple as this: i didn't seem to be having much luck chasing happiness as a poor, awkward, heterosexual, teenage american girl; so i figured i'd have a better chance at happiness as a priviledged, graceful, homosexual, full-grown, young englishman. man, i'm sooo glad i'm thirteen anymore. i don't remember where i found this picture of rupert, but obviously he's around 14 or 15 years old. and beautiful.